Eye Humor

Q: What type of music do optometrists listen to?

A: iTunes


Q: What was the lens’ excuse to the policeman?

A: I’ve been framed!


Q: What do you call a deer without eyes?

A: No eye deer.


Q: What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?

A: Douthinkhesaraus.


Q: What did the eye doctor say to the Captain of the Ship?

A: eye-eye captain!



Q: Where is an eye located?

A: Between H and J.


Q: What happened to the lab tech when he fell into the lens grinder?

A: He made a spectacle of himself.


Q: What did the right eye say to the left eye?

A: There is something between you and me, and it sure smells!


Patient: Hi doc, I always see spots before my eyes.

Doctor: Well did the new glasses help?

Patient: Of course, now I see the spots much clearer!


Optician: You need glasses.

Patient: But doc, I'm already wearing glasses.

Optician: Then I need glasses!



Patient: Will I be able to read after wearing glasses?

Doctor: Yes, of course!

Patient: Perfect! I've been illiterate for so long!


Q: What's the difference between an Optomitrist student and the trash?

A: The trash gets out at least once a week.


Q: What do you call a Fish with no eyes?

A: A Fsh


A woman goes to her Optician to return a pair of glasses she purchased for her husband a week ago.

Optician: Hello, what seems to be the problem?

Woman: I'm returning these glasses i bought for my husband. He still isn't seeing things my way!


Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

A: Still no eye deer.



Q: Where does bad light end up?

A: In a Prism


Patient: I keep getting a stabbing pain in my eye every time I drink coffee.

Optometrist: Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup?